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April 12th, 2007

Some friends were talking recently and a subject came up that is near and dear to most of us authors (and others) out there, but is rarely talked about - The Impostor Syndrome.

This is the feeling deep inside that you aren't at all good, that you have no right to be up there on that panel talking to fledgling writers, that your publisher is crazy for ever having agreed to publish your book. No matter how much actual success you gain, you just can't reconcile yourself to the fact your talents did that! It must be luck, or a coincidence, or someone helping you out - no way could it actually be you.

At home, safe and sound, this feeling of being a fraud is not so strong. It mostly rears its ugly head when you are out there, in front of con goers, other writers (especially if you admire their work), or anyone else who approaches you that has heard you are a writer. For some, the feelings of being a fake and the guilt at daring to put themselves out there as something they know they are surely not can be extremely depressing, and actually paralyzing, keeping them from presenting themselves to others - the biggest fear being that someone somewhere will figure out their shame and expose them to all.

I did a Yahoo search on "Impostor Syndrome" just wondering what I would find. There were a lot of hits. Talentdevelop.com has the names of several major actors and actresses who have suffered from this - Nicole Kidman, Jodie Foster, Don Cheadle, and more. Caltech and Cornell both have a section on the syndrome at their site. Numerous psychologists have done papers on the subject.

One interesting fact I noticed is that this syndrome seems to be most prevalent in women. (Dang it!)

Okay, so now that you're nodding your heads knowing what I am talking about and some of you feeling you have this thing, what can you do about it? Hey, don't look at me! I have this too! And I am no expert. But...

To me, some of the feelings generated by the syndrome stem almost into the realm of phobias. I know some definite facets of it reflect in my shyness, my inability to toot my own horn, my embarrassment when others do it for me, and my not wanting to force people to buy my books but rather entice them into it so it's is their own decision.

But what I have done (and it sort of works for me), and what others I know are so good at you would never ever think they doubt themselves or their relevance, is to create an Author Persona. Basically what it comes down to is making a professional copy of yourself, one that gets down to business and has no doubts. You don't have to reinvent yourself! Just think of a more outgoing more confident you (even if by just a little) and give yourself some props to help you slide into the role.

In my case, I have clothes that I specifically use when I am the "writer". They are fancier than my usual fare (Tomboy here! Tomboy!) and they make me look professional (I hope) - like I might actually know something. Others I know dress more casually, but still have something to set them aside from their everyday facade -- they use things like funky vests, costumes (some even dress like their characters), neat hats, buttons, what have you.

Mind you, this professional alter-ego in no way makes any of the fears of feeling like a fraud disappear, but it can help you put enough of a lid on them to manage and do what you are there to do - whether it be a panel, a signing, a chat, sitting behind a dealer's table and smiling, whatever. And of course, like anything, the more you do it, the easier it gets.

If we're very lucky, maybe even that feeling of being a fake will go away too someday. (Right...) :P

But it will let you function. And functioning before the fans and our peers as an author is something we must do! So go get 'em! We rock! Don't ever forget that!




Gloria Oliver
Unveiling the Fantastic
www.gloriaoliver.com

Novels


JEWEL OF THE GODS

(2015) Fantasy

The King is Dead! Long Live the Undead King!


Excerpt:
"What are you implying?"

The magister glided forward and scrunched down beside him.

"That in order to bathe, you must first actually get into the bath."





INNER DEMONS

(2014) Urban Fantasy

It took everything from her, except revenge!


Excerpt:
The muscles in my right arm jerked from tension as I tried to make it move and it resisted. A shrill scream inside my head insisted I didn't want to do this. That if I did, there'd be no way to take it back. "I...I'm afraid."



THE PRICE OF MERCY

(2011) Young Adult – Fantasy

Which is worse…the monster without or within?


Excerpt:

Home—family—the two things he would never have, the two things forever denied him…because of her.

Anger welled inside him, the heat of it suffusing him to the core, gurgling with seething emotions the total opposite of the coolness splashing down from the fountain nearby. Before he realized what he was doing, Jarrin stepped inside the gazebo.




CROSS-EYED DRAGON TROUBLES
(2007) Young Adult – Fantasy
“Harry Potter meets Dragon Riders of Pern”

Excerpt:

“Do you need any help?” she asked. “Just tell me what you want me to do. If you prefer, I’m sure I can round up at least a few people to come over and give you a hand.”

Kel slowly shook his head. “It’s all right. Thanks anyway.” His voice lowered to where she almost couldn’t hear it. “This is all part of my punishment.’

She frowned, not understanding what he meant. “Punishment?”

Kel cocked his head in Clarence’s direction. In a flash, she understood. None of this was an accident. Clarence had landed there deliberately, hoping to make Kel pay for all he went through in the past month. She shook her head, not wanting to believe this, but what the dragon said next took any doubts right out of her head.



WILLING SACRIFICE
(2008) Young Adult – Fantasy
“To save the world she must DIE! Or must she?”

Excerpt:

Panic and fear filled with utter helplessness made her dizzy. She knew what would be done with her, she knew what they planned. But there was nothing she could do to stop any of it.

Sharp gasps echoed in her ears as she felt the room’s cold air caress the Eye.

“You were right. She is the one.”



IN THE SERVICE OF SAMURAI
(2002) Adult/YA – Japanese Fantasy Adventure
“The Last Samurai meets Pirates of the Caribbean”

Excerpt:

Laying the blade on the floor before him, Toshi parted his kimono until his stomach lay exposed. He tucked his sleeves beneath his legs to hold him upright if he should falter. Ignoring Asano, he took up the blade. His shoulder flared with pain and he tried not to flinch, as he grabbed the blade with both hands. He turned the wakizashi until its sharp point was aimed at his belly, the residence of his soul.



VASSAL OF EL
(2004) Adult/YA – Fantasy Mystery
“He tried to forget his past, but his past wouldn’t forget him”

Excerpt:

Torren took a step back a sudden shudder racking through him. It was as if he’d never left, as if the boy he’d been would be coming back-though the one who’d loved this room and all these things was long, long dead. That boy died when he’d watched his father’s blood pour forth from his mouth, the end of a sword protruding from his abdomen. That boy died when he survived while everyone else lay dead.

Info, sample chapters, and free reads at www.gloriaoliver.com

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